I used to have a tendency where the more I was told to let go, the more I held on. The more I was told to let go, the more I shrank. The more I was told to let go, the more I found myself blocked and stuck.

Letting go presupposes we’re holding on to something. One day I noticed that every time I said the words, “let go”, my hand balled into a fist, as if holding on to an imaginary bar. In that moment I saw my fear. I might hurt myself if I let go. Where am I when I’m holding on to that imaginary bar? I didn’t know. What if I’m suspended in the air? What lies beneath me? Am I about to fall from a great height? I’m not safe if I let go. Let’s face it, I’m not even safe holding on. How can I be? I don’t know where I am or what’s happening.

So looking at this balled fist I asked the question, What does it really mean to let go? A beautiful moment followed as my hand unfolded with no thought in my mind. I was now staring at an open hand. What does it really mean to let go? There was my answer. To open. To reveal ourselves.

So in those moments of struggle, of holding on, why did I not want to open and reveal myself? Because of what others might think of me, say about me. Because of their judgements of me. Because others might see that I’m not good enough, or that I’m not getting it right. Because of my judgements of me.

Now I remind myself that judgements are like candy floss. They appeal to us in that they’re compelling, garish even, we’re drawn to taste them and yet we forget how sickly sweet they are. At any given moment you can choose to turn the tap on your judgements and watch them wash away, just like candy floss in the rain. How? The same way you let go, by opening to them.

It seems paradoxical, but when I open to my judgements I see the neutrality of judgemental thinking. I see it as empty thinking with no life breathed in to it. I accept it as thought, nothing more, nothing less. And in accepting I let go – there is nothing to fear when I see judgement this way. It is only fear that keeps me closed. There is nothing to fear in neutrality.

To be open is to be accepting. To be accepting is to let go. To let go is to be open.


Reveal your self.

Spring is here.




Magic occurs within a coaching conversation. If you would like a conversation with me email [email protected]



About the Author

I coach high achievers in the performing arts and music industries, together with entrepreneurs and leaders in corporate. I'm drawn to work with pioneers and innovators. "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes" Marcel Proust

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